THE SEXEDUCATOR MAGAZINE

16Communication in adolescent couples
Issue 16 | Winter 2011
by Sophie Gascon
Kayla, 14, and Lucas, 15, have been together for two months. The two of them have had the impression that they could tell each other everything. For the past while, Lucas has wanted to make love with Kayla but has been unable to tell her because she’s given no indication that she shares this feeling. Since Kayla is not giving any signs, Lucas wonders if she wants him. He’s beginning to feel nervous and to have doubts: “Maybe she doesn’t love me anymore...” Then one day, he blows up: “I’m making advances toward you but you never respond! You never get close to me and you act as if you don’t even notice anything. Don’t you want to make love with me?” Kayla doesn’t understand why he’s reacting so impatiently.
She’s sometimes felt like being more affectionate with Lucas but she was afraid that he would think she wanted to go further. She’s also suspected that Lucas wants to make love, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready and didn’t know how to talk to him about that.

Why is it so difficult to discuss sexuality with your boyfriend or girlfriend? How do you go about talking with your boyfriend or girlfriend about how you feel about him or her, your desire to have a sexual relation, your wish to use condoms or your sexual needs? How can you know if it’s the right moment and how to communicate properly? We can see that communication can be quite challenging when it comes to topics that deal with sex and intimacy. It’s not always easy to be understood and to understand the other person. And while adults may find it difficult to communicate, it can be even more so for adolescents since they are in a phase of life where they are questioning and discovering themselves and others. This issue of The SexEducator is designed to enable educators to help young people communicate more easily with their boyfriends or girlfriends.
See the activities suggested in this issue
1Activity 1
How to become a good communicator

Théâtre-forum presenting elements that interfere with communication in adolescent couple.

Pedagogical goals:
Recognize the difference between good communication and not-so-good communication.
Know where and when to speak about subjects that concern the couple.

Audience:
For secondary II, III and IV students.

Duration:
75 minutes
2Activity 2
Learn to express feelings to communicate better

All-boy and all-girl team reflexion on situations scenarios about the difficulties of communication in adolescent couples.

Pedagogical goals:

Help young people reflect on their feelings and opinions when they are communicating.
Help young people distinguish between communication where feelings and emotions are repressed and communication where, on the contrary, they are expressed.

Audience:
For secondary II, III and IV students.

Duration:

75 minutes
3Activity 3
Let’s play risk-free!

Activity in which young people have to find the right answers to facilitate communication about teenagers desire to make love with their partner. A game board comes with this activity, you'll find it at Activity 4.

Pedagogical goals:
Become aware of the importance of communication when it’s time to talk about sexual protection.
Name the fears raised by talking about sexual protection with a partner.
Recognize the advantages of talking about sexual protection.

Audience:
For secondary II, III and IV students.

Duration:
75 minutes
4Activity 4
Let's play risk-free!

Game board for realising Activity 3.
Communication in adolescent couples
Issue 16 - Winter 2011 - by Sophie Gascon
Sommaire du numéro EN
No 16 – The SexEducator – Communication in adolescent couples

This issue covers the following topics, among others:
  • What is communication?
  • Expressing yourself is good, but expressing yourself and listening is better
  • Statistics on communication in adolescent couples
  • Components of good and poor communication
  • Conditions for good communication
  • Learning to communicate your feelings
  • Talking about sexuality with a boyfriend of girlfriend: not always easy!
  • Sexual protection: taboo subject for adolescent couples?
  • Communication and conflict management
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Other issues
  • Communication in adolescent couples
  • Toward improving adolescents' contraception use
  • Counteracting the trivialization of sexual exploitation
  • Talking sexuality with your parents
  • Our Romeos: All they think about is sex, right ?
  • The bi trend: Open mindedness or trivialization?
  • FLIRTING ON LINE: Toward a safe and fulfilling exploration of self and others
  • Youth and sexism, from inequality to indifference
  • Flirting with seduction
  • Sexual fantaisies during adolescence...
Issue 25 | Spring 2016
Toward improving adolescents' contraception use
by Marie-Andrée Bossé
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